If you've been following us for a while you know that I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend Matt who lives in New York and Katie used to be in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend Ryan. A lot of people don't believe in LDR's and don't understand why people would be in one. I used to be one of them until Matt came along! I've decided to write a guide to help those in an LDR or possibly considering one in the future survive the relationship!
1. Lots of video chats!
FaceTime has basically been our best friend. We make it a point to FaceTime every night before we go to bed in order to talk about our days and say good night to each other! Even if its just for a minute its always nice to see each others face and hear each others voice. Whether you use FaceTime, Skype, etc. always find a way to video chat because making time to "see" each other is important!
2. Communication is key!
I know this goes for any relationship you are in but it is extra important in an LDR. When the majority of the way you get to talk to them during the week days when you're at work or busy is through texting it is easy to misconstrue what is being said. Tell them how you're feeling, even if you're worried how they'll respond. If you don't communicate with them, when you do see each other there will be awkward tension and you won't enjoy the little time you have together. Also, talk like you aren't hundreds or thousands of miles away from each other. Talk about your day, be silly, make jokes etc. It makes things easier!
3. Be your own person, live your life!
Don't sit at home on your couch being a bum and doing nothing. Go out with your friends, go to happy hour, go to dinner, go shopping, do something! Don't just sulk that you aren't with your significant other. I promise it is okay to have fun and live a normal life!
4. Always let them know you're thinking of them!
It is easy to feel like you're being forgotten when you can't physically be with someone whenever you want. Let them know they are on your mind. Whether it be a random text message, a card in the mail, or like my boyfriend did in the photo above, send me a virtual dove chocolate message, do it. Your significant other will light up knowing that you're thinking of them!
5. Make plans to see each other!
Whether you're a plane ride, a train ride or a car ride a way from each other have a plan. Matt and I make it a point to not leave each other without having our next flights booked. It gives you something to look forward to and you aren't leaving each other not knowing when you'll see each other again. We make countdowns on our phones to remind us how many days are left until our next visit!
6. Celebrate holiday's together!
It's okay to celebrate these things. Celebrate things like Valentine's day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Chanukah, Thanksgiving, New Years, etc. Just because you can't see each other every day does not mean you can't be together to celebrate the holidays. Work it into your travel plan!
7. Have date nights!
I know you become good friends with your significant others friends and want to see them when you visit each other. That's totally okay! But it is also important to spend some alone time together and go out on those dates. You'll appreciate these date nights much more and the time spent on them since they are fewer and further between!
8. Ignore the haters!
Listen, I've heard it all. You won't last, why would you do this, you're being stupid, he's definitely cheating on you, you have to be cheating on him, what a waste of time and money, I could go on forever. But in the wise words of Taylor Swift, the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate. Let them hate! Don't be bothered by others opinion. Most people don't support these kind of relationships, they'll discourage you, try and talk you out of it, and/or hate on it. Let them have their opinion but don't take it personally. They aren't in the relationship, you are! You know how you feel about your significant other and you agreed to do this so do what you want!
9. It's not forever!
Always know that the distance will not be forever! Before we decided to do long distance Matt and I sat down and discussed what we wanted out of our own lives, where we saw ourselves living and how long until we got to that point. This may not be the most comfortable conversation to have but it is very VERY necessary. You don't want to be in the relationship never knowing when the distance will end or if you want to end up in the same city!
10. Trust in each other!
Just like trust is important in any relationship, it is a pivotal part of an LDR. If you are sitting there wondering what your significant other is doing, who they're talking to, etc. you will drive yourself insane! Texting them every 30 seconds and expecting a response is not reasonable either, clingy isn't pretty. Trust they want to be with you and only you and don't worry about what they are up to every second of every day! When I asked Matt if he had any advice for you all he said trust is the most important thing so trust them!
I hope this advice helps you! If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Both Katie and myself love giving advice on this subject and are firm believers that it is possible to survive an LDR (Katie did!). Have a great weekend all!